I was taking out the trash yesterday.  I merrily made my way across the patio when I was stopped in my tracks. 
I surveyed the landscape, observing the small white piles of what looked like snow.  But how could that be?  The snow in these spots had melted.  I took a closer look at these mysterious mounds and the realization dawned that these were not little snow piles at all!  They were a life form.

My eyes grew teary with the thought of the monumental task that lay ahead of me. 
I knew this day would come.
It is what I've been dreading all winter.
It is the reason I couldn't bring myself to rake the leaves last fall.
It is....a back yard full of soggy, mouldy dog shit.

I thought to myself, "I should get started on it now.  That way, when the rest of the yard melts, I won't have as much to do.  Also, it will be worse when it warms up and there is all kinds of funky things going on in the fungi-covered pooh piles. 
So, I grabbed a bucket, lined it with a garbage bag and went to work with my trowel and rake.

My God, what a job!!  By the time I was done, I had been out there for two hours scooping up crap.  I had a full bucket of turd and only half of the yard was melted!! Lets hear it for yard work!!!