I recently had a serious discussion with a friend.  I'm not saying that any of this actually happened, but It got me thinking pretty seriously.

Scenario:

You, your significant other, and your friend are all out for an evening.  You get up and go to the bathroom.  When you come back, you sense that things are a little strained between present company and for some reason, the evening ends early.  Later that night, you find out that your friend made a blatantly forward pass at your sweetie.  Would you be offended by this?

Some say no.  No, you're not my property and the only reason I would have any emotion whatsoever on the subject would be because the "assaultee" was upset about it. 

I say that's a steaming load of crap.  If that person was really your friend in the first place, they knew that you two were in a relationship and should have known better than to make a pass at your girl/guy.  Your friend was effectively trying to take something for his/herself and therefore, take it away from you.  How can you not be offended by this?  Wouldn't this be the type of action that would cause you to seriously re-evaluate your friendhship with this person?  

Lets flip the coin.  What if your sweetie were the transgressor?  What if he/she caused the infraction and it was your friend that was upset about it.  Worse, what if your friend wasn't upset about it?  What if everyone involved was having a great time with it.  Except for you, of course, since you have played no part in this episode.  What would your feelings be then?  Would you be offended in that case?  If so, why?  It would be exactly the same scenario in principal, wouldn't it?  You don't own anyone, so why should you have anything to say about it?  Shouldn't you just continue in your happy happy relationship and not question anything that just happened?  I don't think so. 

Why would your sweetie do something like that?  Lets evaluate. 

1) He/she is no longer interested in their current relationship and is looking for something other than what you can offer them. 

2)  He/she is trying to hurt you. 

3) He/she is disregarding any feelings that you may have on the subject in exchange for a cheap, meaningless thrill.

So basically, I think that this would be adequate grounds to analyze your relationship and make some changes since your partner does not seem content in the situation they find themselves in.  Not only that, but they either don't care much about your reactions or feelings or they do and are attempting to inject negativity.  Any way you look at it, it's a bad bad situation, and maybe a relationship is not what your partner wants or needs.  Perhaps a scenario like that is not what you would want or need either.

So to those who say, "nobody owns anybody, why should I have anything to say about it?", I say that I'm surprised at such a narrow view of the situation.  It's not about owning anything.  It's about consideration for people you claim to care about.  I guess it's also about what qualities you consider a friend to have and what qualities you want your partner to see in you.  It's about how you percieve a relationship and what you think it should consist of.  Actions speak louder than words.

So, that's the way I feel about the subject.  I'm just wondering if that's the way I SHOULD feel about it.