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SNEEVIL


This is my adopted goth fetus named "Cringe". Hooray fetus!


Feelin' like hell
03.07.06 (6:26 am)   [edit]
My kid and I had a fight this morning.

I'm starting to have a really rough time with her. Sometimes I just don't know what to do. It was over the fact that she had taken candle wax and smeared it over the lizard's aquarium. I told her that she'd have to clean it up, and that resulted in an immediate temper tantrum. She believes that because I'm the mom, I should have to clean it up. That it isn't fair, but that's the way it is.

I've tried to rationalize this with her, but all I get is, "Daddy helps me clean my messes." I do too, but she chooses to ignore that part.

So, I guess I'm feeling as though I'm competing with her father as well. Daddy does and says all these things to her, and that automatically makes them right and since I'm obviously as dumb as a post, I'm always wrong of course. Either that or I must be lying to her.

There is this wall of frustration building between us already...and she's only six. Sometimes, I just don't know what to do or say anymore. There's no one to help, or even to ask for advice. I sometimes even really doubt whether I'm doing her any good at all.

Mornings like these are pretty infrequent. But the outright defiance, tantrums and the like are becoming a problem that I don't really know how to deal with.

Sometimes being a single parent feels pretty damned single.
 


posted by: deadgirlblue (reply)
post date: 03.07.06 (6:40 am)

kids play parents against each other everyday, ususally all day. have you tried talking to the father to see if you guys can come up with a solution because you can't punish her one way and have him come behind and see her do the exact same thing and not say anything. (same thing with good deeds and awarding her) Also i think men just have a tendency to not be able to stand up to their little princesses. i know this probably didn't help.



posted by: Nom Ziffle (reply)
post date: 03.07.06 (7:46 am)

Kids always expect their parent to do everything for them. Even teenagers. Just try to be consistant and things will get better. The punishment should meet the crime. When there is a major catastrophe I try and help them clean up...



posted by: care (reply)
post date: 03.07.06 (2:32 pm)

My neighbour implemented a 'marble' system for her daughter, who is 7, it took a few months to sink in but now she's mildly concerned because her daughter is now cleaning things up without being asked. she gets "X" amount of marbles, for certain things, which she can cash in for money later on when she wants... It saves from having to have money laying around and its a gift that will give more later...
there are a lot of rules and games you can put together to get kids to help out, the main trick is to find something that is simple, and to stick with it until it kicks into play. Perhaps everytime you help clean up, you reward yourself with a marble or two, and she gets one. Just a thought... there should be some great resources online for such things.

X amount of marbles = pizza night during a sleepover party instead of hotdogs?

And I totally agree with getting together with her father, and with her to discuss the cleaning issues all three of you so she knows you are ALL on the same page, and she has no leeway to play one off the other.



posted by: SNEEVIL (reply)
post date: 03.07.06 (3:20 pm)

Reply to:
Yeah, I've spoken to him about it. He has no idea what I'm talking about. She doesn't act this way with him.



posted by: SNEEVIL (reply)
post date: 03.08.06 (6:18 pm)

The marble system is BEAUTIFUL!!! She cleaned her toy room today AND her bedroom. I even got her to pick up DOG POOP!!!
She earned five marbles today and spent one on a chocolate bar. Carrie, you're a genious!



posted by: care (reply)
post date: 03.12.06 (9:11 pm)

awwww.... *blush blush*

it was either that or hanging by the toes suggestion... hehehe...

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