I've deleted the last three posts.  Here's why..
Everything that has happened up until now pales in comparison to the point where it is insignificant.  Truthfully, before now I was over everything for the most part.  I was ready to forgive and let go and get on with it.

However; after the forced entry, assault and theft last night...I've done some thinking.  It's perfectly within my rights to be outraged.  And I am.  This was never asked for or instigated in any way.  The last thing I did before this happened was send him a card wishing him a very merry christmas.  I tried to smooth things over in more than one way.  I got a bruised wrist and a trashed house for my trouble.  Pretty low-brow.  To be physically forced to submit to someone else's will in front of a child is extremely troubling and distressing.  Not only for me, but for that poor kid.  Does anyone disagree? 

I think it's kinda sick to receive a gift from someone and then give it back because you're angry with the person.  But I think it's infinitely sicker to demand one back after you've given it.  But hey, if that's the game...if that's what I need to do to get him to stop this bullshit, then he can have every single thing he ever brought into this house.  I don't want any part of it.  I feel slimey wearing anything he gave me, or reading the book he gave to Leah to her before bed time.  Dude....this is so over it's funny.

But you know what?  I actually feel kinda sorry (in a really pissed off way) for him.  Look at the LENGTHS he has to go to just to hurt me!!  Look how hard he has to work to do it.  How desperate!  Pathetic.  And all over something so small...so rediculously petty.  It all got escalated as a result of my not responding to his harassment.  No response at all!  I literally did NOTHING...that's the wierd part.  The whole thing is actually oddly funny when you sit down to think about it. 

I made a mistake.  A terrible one for myself and my daughter.  I thought I could trust him and opened the door for him.  I should have listened to what others told me, but I thought I knew better.  I knew nothing.  But I've learned.

It's my job to look out for my child, and I failed. I may forgive him some day for what he did to me, but HE is responsible for dragging a little girl into it.  That was pretty dirty.  I mean, can you think of a better way of taking away a child's sense of security than doing something like this?  She won't even sleep in her own bed.  She's terrified of someone coming into our home because she saw how easy it was for him to do what he did.  She knows that I can't protect her from bad people who might want to hurt us.  And you know what?  I guess he's actually proven that I can't. 

I'll never forget the look on my daughter's face when he forced his way into our home.  Nothing in the world is worth that.  I give up, okay?  That's what you want, isn't it?  It was never about the stuff for you.  You don't really want or need it.  It was about who wins.  Well, you've proven that you're bigger and tougher than me.  I'll accept that, because you certainly are.  But that's all you've proven.

I've learned an awful lot about trust and honour in the last few days. 
"Never open your door unless you want your computer stolen."  So sayeth I.
I only ever wanted to be left alone.  Not even enough respect for us to give us that one simple thing.  Peace.

I want to press charges for unlawful entry, assault and theft, but what will it do?  Make things worse?  Likely.  Get my things back...doubt it.  Prove a point?  I honestly think it's a lost cause.  Some skulls, no matter how soft they seem, are too thick to drill through.  If he can't see the wrong in what he did and is doing, then he's the one with a mental problem. 

But any more harrassment WILL result in criminal charges next time.
Just so you know.