Huh. 

I hate Christmas.  I really really do!  I always have.

I hate, christmas trees, and wrapping presents.  I hate shopping and christmas carols.  I hate being expected to act like everything I open as a gift is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me.  I hate family who won't come to see anyone, but guilt everyone else into making the trip.  I hate people who say "I love you" out of familial obligation.  I hate broken families who fight over their children at christmas time.  I hate christmas traffic and christmas weather.  I hate the energy hikes due to christmas lighting.  I hate that it costs $4.00 to have a picture taken with Santa Clause...6 for a polaroid.  I hate making out cards and sending them to everyone I know, because they might be upset if you don't. 

I only like one thing about Christmas.  The look on my little girl's face when she opens that one gift that's set apart from the rest.  The one that I thought about and hope will influence the rest of her life.  That one special thing is the only reason I do any of this.

But I still can't wait until it's over.

It's away.  It's out of my house and no longer my responsibility.

I used Distress Courier.  I though it was appropriate, in a really funny way.
I took photos of everything that was sent back so he can't come back at me and claim that I didn't send my things back to him.

The funniest thing happened though.  When the man was here to pick up the stuff, two little kids came to my door right behind him.  They sang "we wish you a merry christmas" and gave me a candy cane.  I almost cried.
I really needed that right at that exact, particular moment.  How did they know? 

As rotten as I feel right now about people and their "goodness", it was like a small helping of something unselfish and sweet.  A reminder that the world isn't all bad, and that there are some good people out there.  It was a small dose of strength, actually. 

So good to be done with this.

This is pretty cool. It's definately worth a look.  Apparantly the guy spent over 10,000 setting this up.

http://www.snopes.com/photos/arts/xmaslight s.asp" title="http://www.snopes.com/photos/arts/xmaslight s.asp" target="_blank"http://www.snopes.com/photos/...

I've deleted the last three posts.  Here's why..
Everything that has happened up until now pales in comparison to the point where it is insignificant.  Truthfully, before now I was over everything for the most part.  I was ready to forgive and let go and get on with it.

However; after the forced entry, assault and theft last night...I've done some thinking.  It's perfectly within my rights to be outraged.  And I am.  This was never asked for or instigated in any way.  The last thing I did before this happened was send him a card wishing him a very merry christmas.  I tried to smooth things over in more than one way.  I got a bruised wrist and a trashed house for my trouble.  Pretty low-brow.  To be physically forced to submit to someone else's will in front of a child is extremely troubling and distressing.  Not only for me, but for that poor kid.  Does anyone disagree? 

I think it's kinda sick to receive a gift from someone and then give it back because you're angry with the person.  But I think it's infinitely sicker to demand one back after you've given it.  But hey, if that's the game...if that's what I need to do to get him to stop this bullshit, then he can have every single thing he ever brought into this house.  I don't want any part of it.  I feel slimey wearing anything he gave me, or reading the book he gave to Leah to her before bed time.  Dude....this is so over it's funny.

But you know what?  I actually feel kinda sorry (in a really pissed off way) for him.  Look at the LENGTHS he has to go to just to hurt me!!  Look how hard he has to work to do it.  How desperate!  Pathetic.  And all over something so small...so rediculously petty.  It all got escalated as a result of my not responding to his harassment.  No response at all!  I literally did NOTHING...that's the wierd part.  The whole thing is actually oddly funny when you sit down to think about it. 

I made a mistake.  A terrible one for myself and my daughter.  I thought I could trust him and opened the door for him.  I should have listened to what others told me, but I thought I knew better.  I knew nothing.  But I've learned.

It's my job to look out for my child, and I failed. I may forgive him some day for what he did to me, but HE is responsible for dragging a little girl into it.  That was pretty dirty.  I mean, can you think of a better way of taking away a child's sense of security than doing something like this?  She won't even sleep in her own bed.  She's terrified of someone coming into our home because she saw how easy it was for him to do what he did.  She knows that I can't protect her from bad people who might want to hurt us.  And you know what?  I guess he's actually proven that I can't. 

I'll never forget the look on my daughter's face when he forced his way into our home.  Nothing in the world is worth that.  I give up, okay?  That's what you want, isn't it?  It was never about the stuff for you.  You don't really want or need it.  It was about who wins.  Well, you've proven that you're bigger and tougher than me.  I'll accept that, because you certainly are.  But that's all you've proven.

I've learned an awful lot about trust and honour in the last few days. 
"Never open your door unless you want your computer stolen."  So sayeth I.
I only ever wanted to be left alone.  Not even enough respect for us to give us that one simple thing.  Peace.

I want to press charges for unlawful entry, assault and theft, but what will it do?  Make things worse?  Likely.  Get my things back...doubt it.  Prove a point?  I honestly think it's a lost cause.  Some skulls, no matter how soft they seem, are too thick to drill through.  If he can't see the wrong in what he did and is doing, then he's the one with a mental problem. 

But any more harrassment WILL result in criminal charges next time.
Just so you know.

So, I know you're all dying to know how the cookie swap went.  Well, it went smashingly.  There were all sorts of nummies there, and my lil house was filled to capacity. 

Leah and I got a dog yesterday.  She's a little chihuaha/pug cross.  I hope I spelled chihuaha correctly...lol.  Anyhow, we drove up to Regina last night to pick her up.  She's around 3 years old and quite a little looker.  I didn't want a puppy, so she's perfect.  She already knows where to go pee, kennel trained, and can do tricks!!  And, she's a good alarm system...hehe.  YAY!!  Leah named her Phoebe. 

Well, that's it.  Ciao!

Sorry guys,

The cookie swap is on the 11th at 2pm.  Not the 17th. 

I'll write more later.  Right now, I'm working.  That is, I'm writing dirty emails in my underwear and getting paid for it...lol.

GLEEEEEE!!!

Okay, you're gonna love this one...

What is the biggest, funniest joke in the whole history of the world?

The trial of Saddam Hussein.
Good God, what the hell are they doing?  They allow this man into the courtroom when he is beligerant, rude and vocally disruptive to the court proceedings.  He even threatens the judge, and they just say, "now now, Saddam.  We must play nice.  Here, just take this little slap on the hand and....what's that?  It would be too disrespectful?  Well okay then, I'm sure you've learned your lesson.  Lets continue." 

What a gong show.
I suppose they can't really do much to him since everyone fully expects him to be executed.  Slapping him with a fine and extra jail time won't do much good.  Well, if I were an Iraqi judge, I'd attend court with a cattle prod, a pair of handcuffs and a candle.  You know, reason with the man in a language that he understands.
I just wish they would get it over with already before some crazy ass rebels find a way to free this freak.

*sigh*

On to the cookie swap. 
I'm having a cookie swap on Saturday, the 17th.  If you're interested, let me know.  This event requires the presence of two dozen home made cookies.  Wheeee.  It'll be a nice get together.