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This is my adopted goth fetus named "Cringe". Hooray fetus!
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| ...and goodbye |
| 06.19.05 (4:06 pm) [edit] |
Well, I've been writing in this blog for just over a year now. Through it, I've expressed my fears, loves, likes and dislikes and many other things that I thought would be fun to write down.
It started out as a creative outlet. And it was fun for a while. I wrote some pretty cool things. But as my life got more and more crazy and the preassures got to be heavier and heavier, I've found that my creativity has been utterly stifled. As a result, I have filled this web page with factual information and negative outlooks as a way of venting my frustrations. An outlet where there was no other. Consequently, I feel that I have been projecting myself to my peers in a rather negative and depressing way.
This blog is no longer necessary. It has become something to my friends that I hoped it would never be. A substitue for myself. A means of "checking up on me" without looking into my face. I wanted this to be a way to be found, but instead I have been lost. What people take away from here when they close my window is a subjective representation of me that is largely inacurate because they only have half the information that would otherwise be presented to them. I don't want to be only a page full of words to people when I am really so much more.
I have learned a valuable lesson. If people want to know me and what I'm really all about, we can have a coffee and establish a real-life relationship of some type. If not, then they can leave me alone. Just because you read my words does not mean that you really know anything about me. You know what I allow you to know and no more.
I will continue to have a blog, but it will be mine alone. A record to chronicle my life and to look back upon and reflect.
So with that, Sneevil bids you all farewell. Hopefully I will see some of you whom I call friends soon.
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3 Comments
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| Hoodie hoo |
| 06.18.05 (7:34 am) [edit] |
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It was a LATE night!! Our potluck-crafts night was an awesome time. It was nice to see some people that I don't get to hang out with very often. Also nice to meet new people. We sat up until around 4am before we decided to call it quits. It was fun and the food was great. I was thinking that it might have been even more fun with a few more people, but then I thought about it and frankly, I'm positive that there would have been at least one death. Either on purpose or accidentally, it doesn't matter. More than six people in my tiny house carrying scissors, scalpels, exacto knives, fine-tipped markers and various other sharp instruments of death simultaneously wouldn't have been a good thing no matter how you look at it. You gotta watch yourself around those fine-tipped markers. Those suckers can be deadly.
School is progressing, although it is the last two weeks of the term coming up and things are getting hairy. I find myself buried under mountains of work and truthfully, I should be working on my term paper right now instead of updating my blog. I know that sometimes a person needs a break from school work, but I feel guilty for taking them, like last night. I just have so much to do. At the same time, I need them or I will go insane. So I'm trying to find a healthy and productive balance. It's harder than I thought it was going to be.
Maybe that's what I should write my term paper on. Guilt over not having enough time for friends, family, school, household duties and work. How and why does it manifest and what are long and short-term psycholog ical consequences on surrounding friends and family. Maybe I could throw in some coping strategies and theories on why some people are better able to juggle these things than others. Hmmm. Interesting idea. I've been having many interesting ideas in the last few days. It makes deciding on a topic very difficult. Maybe I could get some input from some friends I know who are also having trouble balancing everything.
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4 Comments
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| Sitting on it?? |
| 06.14.05 (10:35 am) [edit] |
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Nevah!!
I have written letters, emails, made phone calls and tomorrow I have an appointment with my local MP to discuss the blatant ineptitude of the Canada Student Loans system of incompetence. I swear to God, I'm a hair's breath away from hiring a lawyer and suing for compensation for financial, academic and emotional damages resulting from their back-assedness.
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0 Comments
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| High blood preassure |
| 06.13.05 (11:58 am) [edit] |
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I'm writing letters to the local MP, the Minister of Learning, the Minister of Indian Affairs and Northern Development and Federal Interlocutor for Metis and Non-Status Indians, the fucking Prime Minister!!!
I swear to God, if Canada Student Loan people don't get their heads OUT of their asses, I'm gonna blow a fucking gasket here!!!
On the plus side, the Sociology midterm went well this morning. :evil:
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1 Comments
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| Borrowed from John's blog |
| 06.11.05 (7:43 am) [edit] |
You entered: 8/17/1974
You were born on a Saturday Your Moon is in Leo Warm, loving, and generous in your affections, you inspire tremendous devotion and loyalty in your loved ones. This is good, since you would never settle for anything less! You want to be adored and worshipped like the king or queen that you feel you are, and it is difficult for anyone to resist the warmth and attention you lavish on those you care about. You have a great deal of pride and need to be recognized and appreciated. The way to really hurt your feelings is to ignore you. You are genuine, sincere, and have a strong sense of personal integrity. You hate emotional games and dishonesty. Your Life path number is 1.
The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2442276.5. The golden number for 1974 is 18. The epact number for 1974 is 6. The year 1974 was not a leap year.
As of 6/11/2005 11:48:13 AM CDT You are 30 years old. You are 370 months old. You are 1,608 weeks old. You are 11,256 days old. You are 270,155 hours old. You are 16,209,348 minutes old. You are 972,560,893 seconds old.
There are 67 days till your next birthday on which your cake will have 31 candles on it.
Those 31 candles produce 31 BTU's, or 7,812 calories of heat (that's only 7.8120 food Calories!) . You can boil 3.54 US ounces of water with that many candles. 
Your birth tree is
Cedar, the Confidence
Of rare beauty, knows how to adapt, likes luxury, of good health not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, determined, impatient, wants to impress others, many talents, industrious, healthy, optimism, waiting for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.
There are 197 days till Christmas 2005!
The moon's phase on the day you were born was new.
New Moon: If you were born during the New Moon phase, you have a childlike wonder and excitment about life. Open and demonstrative, you think and act spontaneously. With your bright, bubbly personality, you launch yourself into your work with tremendous enthusiasm. You are at your best when you are generating new ideas and beginning fresh projects, ever-hopeful about their outcome. Your eagerness leads you to work fast and furiously, but with the attendant danger that you can all too often exhaust yourself before reaching your goal. On the negative side, you have a habit of seeing life from a purely subjective point of view. You are likely to make your mark in life when you are comparatively young, and you will need to learn how to sustain that impulse throughout the rest of your life.
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3 Comments
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| A whole year already?? |
| 06.10.05 (6:59 pm) [edit] |
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Wednesday, JK and I celebrated our 1st anniversary. We went for supper to the Cave with Leah, who enjoyed the experience thoroughly. Unfortunately, the evening was quite short-lived, as he had to work at 6. So that's that. Year number two is officially under way...heh.
Went to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith today with JK and MB. It was pretty good. Even MB liked it...hehehe. :P
Anyhow, not much else to report right now. I'm pretty swamped with school work though. Only 2 more weeks!! I have a feeling I'm going to be in trouble with my Psychology stuff here pretty soon.
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1 Comments
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| Guilty for not showing up... |
| 06.03.05 (10:20 pm) [edit] |
Last night was our Requiem game. I ended up going last minute because stuff was happening that I didn't want to happen. So, I bombed down there and gamed for a while. When it was over, some friends showed up and invited me for coffee with them. I accepted...but I didn't go. I'm only writing this because I know that the people I was supposed to meet read this. So, here's my excuse...
Last week I got sick. I got so sick that I burst some blood vessels in my eye. Now, my eye is horrifically red with blood. I have been going to school...and that's it. I can't look anyone in the eye...It really looks horrible. I've had to put up with people staring at me ever since it happened. The other day was a nightmare...I actually had to ask someone for the time. Try doing it with one eye closed and not look like an ass. Even worse, do it with both eyes open!! My friends have told me that it is disgusting and that I should do something about it. But there isn't anything I can do, I have to wait until it goes away. So, I'm some kind of red-eyed freak show now and I feel terrible and I just want to hole up in my house until I'm normal again. So, I appologize for not making it to coffee. I would really have liked to see everyone. But I didn't want everyone to see ME. The main reason I decided to go to requiem is because it takes place in the dark. Forgive me?
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6 Comments
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