I realize that it's taken me a week to get around to writing anything comprehensive about the May long weekend, but I've been super busy.

Okay, here was our idea:
We're too poor to buy real alcohol, so we're going to have a "shitty wine weedend" and try to get rid of the horrible wine my aunt made for me.
Turns out that JMcV's roommate makes his own wine and donates a bottle to our cause.
I get out to the campsite Saturday around 10pm and am promptly confronted with a smiling JMcV, proudly presenting a bottle of her best onion wine and declaring that I'm not allowed into the campsite unless I have a drink.  So...naturally I do.

I had to work yesterday, effectively thwarting my hopes of seeing the Queen.  I left early to pick up Leah because her dad was coming to get her.  Traffic was halted on 108th and Preston, so we took a right instead of a left in hopes of turning around at the next intersection and then darting right through the light.  But as we were driving, we saw that the next intersection was blocked off with an officer waving traffic onward.  I slowed the car and watched a procession of motorcycle police, and various other cars preceding the car carrying the Queen and Prince Phillip slowly filed past us, going in the opposite direction. 
I yelled excitedly to Leah..."IT'S THE QUEEN!!!  LOOK, LOOK!!", while I frantically pointed out my open window toward the maroon car.  I was too excited to wave to them, trying to make sure that Leah was looking in the right direction.  I saw Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip plain as day!!!  The Queen wasn't looking in our direction, but Prince Phillip looked right at me and gave me a very winning smile, apparantly ammused with my excitement. 
So, even the demands of a busy life can't compete with the threads of fate when they lead you in the direction that you need to go.

Now...on to today. 
I am totally freaked out about this whole student loan thing.  It isn't that I won't be getting any money once this is all figured out.  Turns out it is all just a huge beurocratic error where one person dropped the ball and fucked up my entire life.  The problem now is WHEN will they get it all straight.  It is going to take weeks, and I don't know what to do for funds in the meantime.  I'm sure I'll figure something out if I think hard enough.  I've gotten offers from a couple of very very good friends for help.  As much as I detest having to do it, I may have to take them up on it temporarily. 
I'm just glad that we figured out what the problem is and how to solve it, so I don't have to worry about having to drop out of spring and summer session.  Whew. 
After all this, I'm feeling kinda sick.  I gave blood this morning and that, coupled with the "Student Loan Gong Show" that I've been dealing with today has taken its toll.  I could use a nap, but no rest for the wicked.  Have to go to work.

Last night I noticed that our little fishie, flower, didn't seem to be himself when I fed him.  He didn't even swim up to the surface like he usually did when I turn the light on.  So I gave the tank a little bump to try to dislodge him from the artificial plant where he was hanging.  I saw a flutter of life and he swam to the surface for a moment before listlessly floating/swimming sideways for a bit only to settle on his side on the bottom of the tank. 

Subsequent proddings with the fish net got a weak response, and I was filled with dread.  So I tried to prepare Leah as best I could.  She seemed okay with the prospect of flower dying. 

This morning, I noticed flower's lifeless body on the bottom of the tank.  I did not draw attention to it as we were on our way out the door and didn't really have time for a fish funeral. 

When we got home, I broke the news to her.  Tears welled up in her eyes and together we fished him out with the net, said our goodbyes and gave him a dignified burial at sea.  She shut the lid, pulled the handle and turned to me wracked with heartbreaking sobs.  She would not let me do anything except cuddle her while she mourned.  I almost cried for the damned thing, I felt so bad for her. 

She expressed concern at the thought of having a fish ghost in the toilet, so we had a talk about death.  And five minutes later she was playing happily with her barbies.  Periodically, she would tell me how much she loved and missed flower, and then promptly asked if she can have a gerbil.  Is the death of a pet adequate grounds to be automatically granted another pet of a different species?  I don't really want a gerbil.

I thought that flower would never die.  I've had him for about a year and a half, and though it's horrible to admit, I have forgotten to feed him, forgotten to change his water, let the water evaporate until there was only an inch left.  He was just fine!!  He was invincible!! 
Then I got him a decent tank and a light and fed him every day...and he dies.  I know now that he only died because he chose to.
He was crazy that way.

Flower
2003 - 2005
R.I.P

Well, all in all, mothers day wasn't that bad.
JK took me out for brunch at the Botanica.  It was SUPER yummy!  He even stopped to grab me a flower on the way out since I suppose I look much too young to be a mother, (hehehe) and didn't get one on the way in.
My Dad showed up on my door step after I got home.  It was nice to see him.  He lives in PA, and we don't get to visit very often.  He stayed for a coffee and we did some catching up.
After my post yesterday, I went out to a massage therapist.  I've never been to one before, but my back was killing me and I figured I deserved it.  MY GOD, the woman worked magic!!  I'm feeling great today!  And the experience itself was worth every penny!
So, after that, I brought in some movies that I had rented for Leah.  I didn't know when they were due back and I figured they were late.  But the girl at Rogers took care of the late charges for me.  YAY!  I rented a couple of DVDs and went home to lay on the couch, eat chips and ice cream and do nothing but watch movies. 
My brother called me from Van during the evening.  It was REALLY nice to talk to him, since we haven't spoken for a while.  He had his phone disconnected and I freaked out because I hate losing track of him like that.  Big sisters worry, you know.  So he finally got a cell and called me...hehehe.
Shortly after, a friend came over and we had a couple of beers while visiting and watched a movie after. 
In hindsight, not having a kid on mothers day was kinda nice!  I had no messes to clean up, no crying kid to listen to, no arguing or parenting.  It was a very relaxing day off.

Well, it's Mothers Day once again. 
Leah is with her Dad this weekend, which really sucks. 

It brings thoughts of my own mother.  I wish they could be warm, love-filled thoughts.  But they aren't. 

I am so tired of stressing out about her.  I'm so tired of trying to devise new ways of repairing the damage between us.  I'm tired of being slapped in the face every time I try to reach out to her.
I'm tired.

I think today will be a day for me.  Are there any massage parlors open on Sundays?

Now that exams are over, I have wholeheartedly thrust myself into the sea of other things that I have to do and have put off in favour of school work.

I have been:
Planting strawberries, climbing on the roof to clean out the eaves, getting rid of spider egg sacs, weeding, mowing the lawn, raking the millions of pine cones littering my front yard, building shelves, rearranging my living room and office, vaccuming, sweeping and mopping floors, installing various gadgets for hanging stuff, packing away the winter stuff for the summer, going through Leah's clothes, hauling out all the too-small stuff and hauling in the summer gear, digging up my flower garden and getting ready to seed it, fixing the screens and various other things that took a beating over the winter, fixed the back fence and, yes...I'm still braiding my hair. 
I was thinking about sanding my fence in preparation for painting it, but I finally put out my back today raking pinecones and shoveling them into a bag.  I was hoping that if I keep working, it would wiggle whatever went out of wack back into place.  No such luck.  I guess it's the chiopractor for me tomorrow.

So, that's the update.  My hands are blistered and sore, my back is killing me and my head itches to high heaven. 
I'll update again when I'm in a better mood.