I hate Christmas.

Things are so fucked up.  My "family".
Every day I lose more sleep and worry and think just a little bit harder about how I can possibly fix this whole stupid gong show.  It's just so hopeless.
I miss Leah.  She's in the middle of no-where Ontario with her dad until after the new year.  Next year I'm going away and taking a holiday. 

This sucks.

Well, I've been enjoying my time off immensely.  I can't remember the last time I slept until noon.  Anyhow, I'm getting ahead on my reading, learning some carols on the guitar, finishing off the last of the Chrismtas stuff, and THINKING about cleaning the house...heh.  I am soooo relaxed.

Leah was at her dad's last week, so it was especially quiet around here.  But she's coming home today and I can't wait to see her. 

Well, that's my life.  Pretty low-key.

Last night I got to go to a party!  YAY!
There was lots of people...like 34 at one point, I think.  We were all quite cozy.  :)  I walked in and Rilla took me straight to the keg.  JOY!!! 

And then a very nice man (I don't remember his name) brought a SECOND keg!!  And they had green and red jello shooters!!  So I got reaquainted with friends whom I haven't seen for awhile.  We all gathered around the legendary burn mark on the floor to swap stories of the good ole days.  It was cool.

Today, I nursed my head and wrapped gifts.  I also made a plate of sushi and left it on the counter, so I snacked on that all day.  mmmmm, sushi.

"Mommy, you know what?"
"What?"
"The world is a book."
"Oh, who told you that?"
"I 'scovered it myself.  And tomorrow and today are pages of the book.  And the Daddy reads it to all of the children and when it's done, that's the end of the book.  Then they die and the book is over."
"That's a very grown up way of looking at it.  Nobody told you this?  You discovered this yourself?"
"Yup!"
I stopped right there and looked down at this little girl.  Her clear blue eyes were gazing up at me through the slit between her toque and scarf with an honest comprehension that is rarely seen in adults, much less children.  And though obscured by the fog of her warm breath, I saw her.  Really saw her and I felt my heart skip.  How she amazes me!  How lucky I am to have this incredible little person in my life.  How much we learn from each other!  I did not notice if cars slowed to see a grown person kneeling in the snow clutching the little pink-clad child to her.  All that mattered was that moment when everything was so clear and matter-of-fact.  So understood.  The moment our eyes met.
My God, how did my little baby get so grown up?

I decided to skip Biology today because I needed the time to study.  I have a meeting scheduled with USSU about this whole government student loan thing that's got me completely tied in knots here. 
So, I'm sitting on my couch, taking my notes and feeling slightly guilty about Biology when the phone rings.  I'm thinking that maybe its someone calling about a job interview and wouldn't that be just terriffic.
So I answer in my "pleasant" voice. 

It's just someone from the Royal Bank.  She asked me to verify a few things and stuff.  THEN she tells me that the process of Debt reduction DOES have an undo feature and that because I got caught between their policy changes and stuff, they're willing to undo it for me. 

Holy SHIT!!!  I almost fell off the couch!  It's like winning the lottery!  You have no idea how stressed I've been about this whole thing...like sick.  And now I find that it's all going to be okay!  I thanked the lady about 17 times and told her she was the nicest lady in the world!!!

*SIGH of relief* 

Looks like university is back on the menu for next year!

Now, I don't care what y'all say about tarot cards and whether or not you believe in them.  But I swear on a stack of bibles that everything I've been told, both by Carrie and previously by the psychic, has all come true.  Every single thing.  Some stuff has yet to happen, but HOLY CRAP!!  most of it is goin' on right now and some has already happened.  How could I NOT believe in that?  I'm livin' it.

Well, as of 3:00pm today, I will have officially entered the gauntlet.  Biology Lab final - TODAy!
Psychology exam - TOMORROW!
English final - FRIDAY!
But on the bright side, Friday is my last day until January.  YAY!!

Sigh.  What else can I say?  Nuthin', that's what.  I gotta get some studying done.

Ciao!!